Productivity Tracking: Something wicked, this way comes
Move Over Monday
Move Over Monday
Hi there, and welcome to Engineering Our Social Vehicles. I’m your host, Paul Logan. Today is Move Over Monday. If you’re new around here, that means that on Mondays I try to keep my writing brief to point you towards more important goings on. Today, I’m going to recommend you read a NYT article about productivity tracking.
Read this NYT article about productivity tracking.
Remember that whole "Inflate the Productivity Economy" thing? It's here.
Productivity tracking software is on the rise. Here’s are some of the terrible ways it is already being used, including, but not limited to:
Tracking efficiency among chaplains responsible for providing grief counseling to the dying.
Random webcam snapshots that invalidate 10min of work if you go to the bathroom at the wrong time.
Inability to measure offline work, so you just don’t get paid for it.
This has been coming for a long time — Amazon warehouse workers have been the victims of performance incentives that punish them for natural human behavior like needing to pee for over a decade now. The pandemic threw fuel on the fire and forced this ugly monster into the light of white-collar remote work.
As an accelerationist I have to say this article excited me. There will be no worker solidarity across classes without the necessary decrease in living standards to show white collar workers that they are still chattel regardless of whether or not they get to wear fancy clothes and work in the big house. Bring on the cattle prod and eye movement tracker for the WFH crowd!
I’m glad the NYT made sure to interview at least one pickme who is willing to accept terrible working conditions because they think they work harder than everyone else on their team. Those are the workers who will power the race to the bottom. The ones who say “it really shows you how inefficient you were being” and “it keeps me honest,” as if the people to whom it’s keeping you honest aren’t robbing you blind at every corner and laughing all the way to the bank.
On a slightly brighter note, I think the article’s inbuilt “productivity tracker” is an excellent example of narrative technology. It uses code to create a dynamic, immersive experience that really heightens your empathy for those described.
I think we all know this won’t end until there’s a machine inside your brain docking pay every second you aren’t striving to make a bigger buck for dear leader. With that in mind, I wrote a greentext:
> 2045
> be me, medical ai exorcist
> walking into hospital to fix MRI machine that thinks it is Angela Merkel.
> planning intricate demonic expulsion dance step by step in my head
> neuralink coos and releases goodboy chemicals to reward my professional focus.
> workerHUD shows a 6 cent hourly bonus for my dedication.
> fuck yes, no nutrient mush for this top earner tonight
> Have bestFriendAI book me a waifuSim table at Kentucky Printed Chikken
> almost at the hospital entrance, I pick up the pace, I’m getting close to the dentistry benefit unlock and don’t want to get dinged for mistiming automatic sliding doors again.
> orderly sprints by pushing three-seater wheelchair full of elderly boomers foaming at the mouth from FoxNewsItol™️ withdrawal, damn supply chain.
> runs over my foot.
> workerHUD immediately informs me all of my toes are broken
> I fall over screaming.
> dinged for unprofessional language
> dinged for lying down on the job
> dinged for mistiming automatic door
> my compensation is now negative, and funds are being withdrawn from my retirement account to compensate the company for my laziness
> issued warning to get up in the next 10 seconds or I’ll be let go
> Boston dynamics dogs auto dispatched to eject my daughter from company kindergarten into adjacent broken glass and used needles factory
> try to get up, can’t put weight on my foot
> 5 seconds left, start dragging myself towards the door
> neuralink releases half dose of Motivationol™️, reposesses my car to pay for it.
> I. CAN. DO. THIS.
> Second orderly runs over my hand
> scream in agony
> haven’t pooped in days for max efficiency; shit myself
> workerHUD informs me my fingers are broken and I’ve been terminated
> unemploymentHUD shows me live feed of my daughter getting thrown into pile of broken glass and used needles, asks if I’d like to leave a tip
> losing consciousness, see paramedics running towards me
> try to get up and run away
> automatic door can’t see me on ground, closes on my neck
> I’m trapped
> paramedics too efficient to be fought off,
> can hear their neuralink ka-ching bonus multipliers going off
> they pick me up and carry me 5 feet into emergency wing
> place me in waiting room chair, walk away
> unemploymentHUD informs me my house and daughter have been repossessed to pay for emergency transit.
Conclusion
I hope you’re as scared as I am. I can’t imagine in working in such inhumane conditions, but also feel a grim certainty that this will be everyone, everywhere’s reality by the time I retire. Has your workplace implemented any productivity tracking? Let me know in the comments, or reach out on twitter.